Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 75 No way! This is the Locust God!

Chapter 75 No way! This is the Locust God!

Li Shimin slammed his hand on the imperial desk, no longer wanting to listen to these old men's endless ramblings.

Wang Dequan quickly shouted and followed the furious emperor toward the inner palace.

Li Shimin's steps were light as the wind. At this moment, all he wanted to do was go to the Lizheng Hall to see his daughter and let that soft, sweet little dumpling cool down the burning desire in his heart.

Upon arriving at the Lizheng Hall, I sensed something was amiss even before entering.

It's too quiet.

At this time of day, Xiao Sizi would usually be chasing butterflies in the courtyard or pestering Empress Zhangsun for candy.

But now, there are only a few palace maids sweeping in the courtyard, listlessly swiping away the fallen leaves on the ground with brooms.

"Where is the Empress? Where is the Princess?" Li Shimin asked in a deep voice as he stepped across the threshold.

Empress Zhangsun was leaning against the soft couch, enjoying the cool air, and fanning herself with a round fan. When she saw Li Shimin enter with a face full of sweat, she quickly got up.

"What's wrong with Erlang? Why is he so angry?"

"Don't even mention it, those people from the previous dynasty are giving me a headache."

Li Shimin waved his hand, his gaze sweeping around the hall. "Where's Zhouzi? In this heat, I hope I didn't let her run around?"

Empress Zhangsun smiled helplessly: "Where else could they have gone? They dragged Chang Le along early this morning, saying they were going to deliver some kind of heatstroke prevention sachet to Su Mu. I couldn't stop them at all, and they're probably already lounging in the backyard of the Imperial Kitchen by now."

It's Su Mu again.

When Li Shimin heard this name, his brow twitched twice, and the anger in his heart inexplicably dissipated a bit.

Although that kid's place was dilapidated, he always had some strange and unusual ways to beat the heat. And—thinking of the clear soup noodles that night, Li Shimin's Adam's apple bobbed.

On such a hot day, it would be good to go and ask for a bowl of cool water.

"Prepare the carriage—no, there's no need to prepare the carriage."

Li Shimin waved his sleeve, turned around and walked out, "I'm going to fetch them back."

The backyard of the imperial kitchen.

-

It's not much cooler here than elsewhere.

The old locust tree in the corner drooped its leaves listlessly, and cicadas were howling loudly in the treetops, making people feel irritable.

The sudden rise in temperature in autumn caught everyone off guard, including Su Mu.

Su Mu sat in front of a whetstone, holding the chipped kitchen knife in his hand.

Hohoho!

The sound of sharpening knives echoed rhythmically.

He was focused, with fine beads of sweat on his forehead that slid down his high nose and dripped onto the hot bluestone slab, evaporating instantly.

At the other end of the courtyard, Princess Chang Le, Li Lizhi, was holding an oil-paper umbrella, her brows furrowed.

"Sizi, don't crawl into those bushes, they're filthy."

Li Lizhi wiped her sweat with a handkerchief while keeping a watchful eye on her surroundings. It was so hot that snakes, insects, and rodents were all very restless.

Little Sizi wouldn't listen at all.

She was wearing a light purple short jacket and matching shorts, and her bare feet were on the scorching hot ground, but she didn't seem to mind the heat.

Holding a foxtail grass in its hand, with its little bottom sticking out, it was struggling against a clump of withered grass at the base of the wall.

"Redeem yourself guilty! Redeem yourself guilty now!"

The little girl mumbled in her childish voice, her face flushed red from the sun, like a ripe apple.

She just saw something crawl inside and jump really high.

"Guoguo is so happy! As long as he catches a bug, he'll make it for Xizi—why is he being so lazy?"

Little Sizi tilted his head and thought for a moment, but couldn't remember, though it must be the seventh one!

She took a foxtail grass and poked it into the bushes.

Buzz!

The withered grass shook violently, and then a grayish-brown shadow shot out.

The thing was incredibly fast, carrying a strong gust of wind, and it hurtled straight toward the little girl's delicate pink face.

"ah--!"

Little Sizi felt a sudden darkness before her eyes, as if something thorny had scraped her face. The furry, hooking sensation terrified her, and she immediately threw away the foxtail grass.

The thing didn't stop; after hitting her face, it kicked her shoulder and finally landed on her clothes.

With that one glance, Xiao Sizi saw it clearly.

It was about the thickness of a thumb, covered in dust, with bulging eyes and sharp thorns on its hind legs, which were clinging tightly to her precious Shu brocade fabric.

"Wow—! A monster! There's a monster!"

The little rhinoceros had never seen such a ferocious insect before, and was terrified out of its wits.

She waved her little hands wildly in the air, trying to drive the thing away, but she didn't dare to touch it. Her legs went weak, and she sat down on the ground with a thud, opening her mouth wide and starting to howl.

"Sister, help! Potato, help! It's biting our nest! Waaaaah—"

Li Lizhi had been watching this area, and when she heard the crying, she was startled and threw down her umbrella, rushing over.

Upon seeing the insect crawling on her sister's chest, the Tang Dynasty princess's face turned deathly pale, and she abruptly stopped in her tracks.

The insect had two pairs of wings on its back and cold, merciless compound eyes.

They're locusts!

This is the locust god that people fear so much!

"Don't move! Silly, don't move!"

Li Lizhi's voice trembled, "This is—this is a divine worm! We can't kill it! Killing it will bring divine retribution!"

In the Tang Dynasty, locust plagues were considered a punishment sent down by Heaven.

When people see locusts, they burn incense and kowtow, praying that the sacred insects will spare their food. If they dare to harm the sacred insects, it is considered a great disrespect and will bring even greater disaster.

Little Sizi didn't understand anything about gods or anything like that. All she knew was that this ugly thing was crawling all over her, and the thorns on her legs were pricking her painfully.

"Ouch—Waaah—Honey—"

She cried so hard she hiccuped, her face covered in tears and snot, and looked desperately at Su Mu over the whetstone.

The whooshing sound stopped.

Su Mu straightened up and tested the blade with his thumb.

Fast enough.

He walked over slowly, carrying a knife.

Those lazy eyes swept over the little rhinoceros, finally settling on the huge locust.

Good guy.

It's huge!

Judging from its size and color, it's clearly a top-quality wild game that's all-natural, pollution-free, and raised on a diet of wild herbs.

Su Mu's lips curled up slightly, revealing a set of white teeth.

"Oh, it seems that God knows we are short of meat, so He has delivered the ingredients to our door."

1

As he spoke, he extended his hand.

"Su Mu! No!" Li Lizhi screamed, trying to stop him. "That's a Radiant Insect! It's a jinx! You can't touch it!"

Su Mu turned a deaf ear.

The slender hand moved with lightning speed, and two fingers precisely pinched the base of the locust's wings.

The once arrogant divine insect was now kicking desperately in Su Mu's hand, making a sizzling sound, but it couldn't break free no matter what it did.

Su Mu picked it up and looked at it.

A full abdomen and firm thighs.

"What kind of jinx?"

Su Mu chuckled and applied slight pressure with his fingers, rendering the locust immobile. "This is clearly a flying shrimp."

He looked down at the little ox, who was still sobbing on the ground.

"Rise up."

Su Mu gently kicked the little girl's shoe sole with his toe.

Little Sizi, with tears still in her eyes, sniffled and looked at the monster in Su Mu's hand, which was still kicking its legs, with some fear.

"It—it's a monster—"

"Not a monster."

Su Mu squatted down, held the locust up to the little rhinoceros and waved it in front of him, "Look closely, this is a big grasshopper with wings."

The little ox shrank back, its voice trembling with tears: "It's banging on the nest—it's hitting the nest face—it hurts so much—"

"So, do you want revenge?"