Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 6: The Princess's CPU Burned Out

Li Lizhi froze completely.

She, the dignified Princess Chang Le of the Tang Dynasty, the apple of her father's eye, was actually used as collateral by her own sister.

"You little rascal! What nonsense are you spouting!"

Li Lizhi's cheeks flushed, and she covered the little maid's mouth in embarrassment and anger. Then she turned and glared fiercely at the servant carrying the plate, trying to intimidate him with the majesty of a princess. "You audacious scoundrel, put... put that plate down!"

Su Mu ignored the agitated noblewoman.

He didn't even look at Li Lizhi directly, but only glanced down at the little pink dumpling clinging to his trouser leg, and then listlessly glanced at Li Lizhi's slender wrist.

"mortgage?"

Su Mu chuckled, "No, too skinny, barely any meat. It'll just waste firewood if I stew it."

Li Lizhi was so angry she nearly fell backward.

How dare this person compare her to pork?!

"We'll see."

Su Mu switched the plate to his other hand to prevent the little girl from spilling it. "This big guy is just standing here, not eating or drinking, and I have to feed him? My place is too small to support idle people."

"you!"

Li Lizhi had never suffered such humiliation in her life. Her chest heaved violently, and the tip of her finger pointing at Su Mu trembled. "Who wants you to support me! I...I..."

"Gurgle—!"

An extremely untimely muffled thud once again came from under Li Lizhi's exquisitely crafted ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress).

This time the sound was louder and longer, echoing in the cramped woodshed, and one could even hear the mournful cries of an empty stomach begging for food.

Li Lizhi's voice abruptly stopped.

That pretty face, which had been so fierce just moments before, instantly turned so red it looked like it was about to bleed.

She instinctively pressed her stomach, wishing she could disappear into a crack in the ground.

What a shame!

Why is my belly so uncooperative?!

But you really can't blame her.

The braised pork in the dish was just a few feet away.

It was a high-quality piece of meat with three layers of fat and lean meat, coated in a thick, reddish-brown caramel coloring.

As Su Mu moved, the skin and fat of the meat trembled slightly in the plate, their bouncy texture incredibly alluring.

The rich aroma of caramel mixed with oil was utterly irresponsible; it went straight from her nostrils into her stomach, making her mouth water uncontrollably.

Su Mu raised an eyebrow, looking at the embarrassed beauty with a half-smile: "Hungry?"

Li Lizhi bit her lower lip tightly, turned her head away and remained silent, trying to maintain the last bit of dignity.

Su Mu didn't force him. He turned around and sat back on the smooth log, gently picking up the chopsticks in his hand.

A piece of bright red meat was picked up.

The meat was stewed to perfection; when you picked it up, the lower half sagged heavily, looking precarious, as if you could break the skin with the slightest force.

"Since the princess doesn't want to eat, then we won't be polite." Su Mu held the piece of meat up to the little ox's face and waved it. "Open your mouth."

The little ox was already impatient, its head bobbing up and down following the piece of meat, looking just like a fledgling bird waiting to be fed.

"Ah—woo!"

The little ox took a bite and didn't need to chew at all.

The fatty parts had long since melted in the stew, leaving only a rich, oily, and sweet flavor. The lean meat, soaked in the broth, was not dry at all, but rather had a satisfying chewiness!

"Ugh! Ugh!"

The little ox's eyes widened suddenly, and its two little hands waved excitedly in the air.

That's awesome!

It's seven or a hundred times better than yesterday's fried rice!

The sweet, salty, and oily flavors exploded in her mouth, and Xiao Sizi felt like she was about to fly.

"Hey! More!" Little Sizi swallowed it whole, his mouth covered in bright red sauce, and reached out with his greasy little hands to grab the plate again.

Su Mu quickly stopped him, saying, "It's hot, use chopsticks."

He picked up another piece.

This time, Li Lizhi saw it much more clearly.

When the meat is torn apart, you can even see the glistening strands of oil inside.

The aroma wafted over again with the heat, even more intense than before, reaching straight to the top of one's head.

Li Lizhi's throat bobbed uncontrollably.

She really couldn't hold back any longer.

Court etiquette and princess dignity seemed to become less important in front of that trembling braised pork noodle soup.

What kind of sorcery was used?

How could pork taste like this? How could it be this color?

After Su Mu finished feeding the second piece, he looked up at Li Lizhi.

The princess, who was usually aloof and high-ranking, was now staring intently at the plate, looking exactly like Xiao Sizi had just done.

"Want some?" Su Mu pulled out a pair of clean chopsticks from the side, twirled them in his hand, and said, "It's not free. If you want some, you have to work."

Li Lizhi was taken aback, and struggled to look away from the flesh: "What...what kind of work?"

"See that?" Su Mu nodded with his chin toward the corner.

There were several dirty bowls used for preparing the food piled up there, as well as a wooden basin covered in grease.

"I'm lazy. I'm good at cooking, but not at washing dishes." Su Mu handed over the chopsticks, his tone matter-of-fact. "If you ate my meat, you have to wash my dishes. Is that a fair deal?"

Li Lizhi's eyes widened.

Washing dishes?

To make herself? The eldest princess of the Tang Dynasty? Wash those greasy, dirty dishes?

This is an absolute disgrace!

If the Emperor finds out, he'll probably issue an edict to level this Imperial Kitchen!

"You...you're being insolent!" Li Lizhi's voice trembled with anger.

"Fine, then don't do it." Su Mu pretended to put his chopsticks away. "Anyway, there's not much meat left. It's not even enough to fill Si Zi's teeth."

"I want seven! Sister, don't eat seven!" Little Si shouted indistinctly from the side, his little mouth glistening with oil from eating.

Li Lizhi looked at her sister's blissful expression and smelled the intoxicating fragrance.

There are two little people fighting in my head.

One said: You are a princess, you must be reserved. That is lowly meat, that is menial work, you cannot bow your head!

Another said: "Take a bite, just one bite. Look how shiny the skin is, how tender the meat is. After eating this, I'll never want mutton soup again."

at last.

Guh—!

My stomach protested again, and the loud noise completely blew away my rational mind.

Li Lizhi took a deep breath; the air was filled with the aroma of meat.

She snatched the chopsticks from Su Mu's hand, her movements so quick she was afraid she might change her mind.

"I...I'll swipe!"

These three words were practically squeezed out from between his teeth.

Su Mu's lips curled into a triumphant smile as he pushed the plate towards her: "While it's hot."

Li Lizhi's hands were trembling slightly as she held the chopsticks.

She picked up a piece of meat.

The meat was softer than I had imagined.

Carefully put it into your mouth.

boom!

Li Lizhi suddenly froze.

In that instant, she felt her tongue being enveloped by a rich, sweet flavor.

There is no fishy smell or strange odor.

Only the rich, mellow sensation of oil melting on the tongue, and the caramelized sweetness of simmered rock sugar. Rich yet not greasy, lean yet not dry, the complex flavors unfold layer by layer in the mouth!

How can something be so delicious?!

Li Lizhi originally only wanted to try a bite, to taste what this thing that had her sister so infatuated with was really like.

But once you take that bite, you can't stop using your chopsticks.

The second piece.

The third piece.

……

In this dilapidated and dimly lit woodshed, the most esteemed princess of the Tang Dynasty stood undignifiedly by the stove, her head touching Xiao Sizi's, as they launched a full-scale attack on a plate of braised pork.

"Sister! That's the one I've got my eye on!"

"Good boy, this piece is fat, let your older sister eat it for you so you don't get tired of it."

"You're lying! My sister just ate three pieces of fatty meat!"

In just a short while.

The plate is upside down.

Even the last bit of soup was eaten clean by Li Lizhi using her chopsticks.

She stared blankly at the empty plate, then at her lips smeared with sauce, before suddenly snapping back to reality.

God!

What did she just do?

She actually fought with her sister for food? And she ate in front of a servant without any decorum?

That feeling of shame belatedly welled up inside me.

"Are you full?" Su Mu's lazy voice came from behind.

He was leaning against the woodpile, holding a bowl of caramel milk tea in his hands, taking a leisurely sip.

Li Lizhi's face turned as red as a ripe shrimp. She lowered her head, not daring to look at him, and gave a soft "hmm" as faint as a mosquito's buzz.

"Alright then." Su Mu pointed to the corner. "Let's get to work."

Li Lizhi looked at the pile of dirty bowls, then at the priceless Shu brocade palace dress she was wearing.

You're obligated to do what someone else does.

If I go back on my promise now, and that servant tells everyone about it...

Li Lizhi gritted her teeth and squatted down in the corner.

She awkwardly rolled up her sleeves, revealing a section of her forearm that was as white as frost and snow.

Those hands had slender fingers, and they had only ever touched the zither, chess, calligraphy and painting. They had never touched greasy bowls and chopsticks.

She stretched out a finger and tentatively poked the greasy wooden basin, her face full of disgust and helplessness.

"Where's the water?" Li Lizhi turned around and asked, looking aggrieved.

"There's some in the jar, scoop it out yourself." Su Mu crossed his legs, showing no intention of helping at all.

Little Sizi, true to her word, squatted down beside him with her round little belly, waving her little fist: "Go, big sister! Wash it clean, and next time we'll give the pot back to Meatball Seven!"

Li Lizhi almost couldn't catch her breath.

As she struggled to scoop water from the vat, she cursed Su Mu a thousand times in her mind.

This person...this person is a complete bastard!

But he really is... a jerk who cooks really well.

As she angrily wiped the plate, the lingering aroma of meat still lingered in her mouth, making her secretly look forward to the next "transaction".

Su Mu looked at the figure crouching in the corner and a slight smile appeared on his lips.

This eldest princess of the Tang Dynasty, washing dishes, was quite a sight to behold.

But this dishwashing technique...

"Hey! That's a dishcloth, not a tablecloth!"

"You have to scrub the other side of the plate too! Oil's all over your hands!"

"Be gentle! That's my only soup bowl. If I break it, I'll leave you here as collateral!"

Inside the woodshed, a chaotic scene unfolded, with chickens flying and dogs barking.