Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 109 The Emperor Emeritus's Thoughts

Chapter 109 The Emperor Emeritus's Thoughts

Li Yuan couldn't help but praise it; that hot bite was truly comforting.

Compared to the dry roasted chestnuts, this meat with broth is much more comforting.

Su Mu turned around and went back into the house, where he took out a small jar sealed with mud.

"Eating only meat is getting greasy, how about something else?"

Li Yuan narrowed his eyes: "Wine?"

"It's not really wine, it's osmanthus wine brewed in the autumn, it has a low alcohol content, and it's sweet."

Su Mu broke the mud seal.

A refreshing fragrance of osmanthus mixed with the smell of fermented rice wafted out.

When poured into a coarse porcelain bowl, the wine is a pale amber color and clear to the bottom.

Li Yuan picked up the bowl and took a sip.

It has a smooth and mellow taste, a sweet aftertaste, and a warm feeling as it goes down your throat without causing a headache.

"nice one."

Li Yuan put down the bowl, a blush rising on his face. "Most of the imperial wine in the palace is too strong. This mild wine is more suitable for my old bones."

After several rounds of drinks and five courses of food,

More than half of that pot of braised chicken with chestnuts was gone.

Little Sizi, his face glistening with oil from eating, dozed off next to Su Mu's legs.

Li Yuan leaned back in his chair, twirling the rough porcelain bowl in his hand, his gaze somewhat unfocused as he stared at the bare branches of the locust tree overhead.

When the wind blows, the branches tremble wildly.

"Su boy."

Li Yuan suddenly spoke, his voice somewhat muffled, "Tell me, what's the point of all this busy life?"

Su Mu was gnawing on a chicken wing tip when he heard this, and without even looking up, he said, "I just want to eat my fill, stay warm, and have some fun."

"Happy————"

Li Yuan gave a wry smile, tilted his head back, and downed the remaining wine in his bowl.

"I just can't be happy."

"What's wrong? Has your pension not been paid in time?"

Su Mu spat out a thin bone.

"retire?"

Li Yuan paused for a moment, then roughly understood the meaning of the words. He waved his hand and said, "I've retreated completely. It's just that life is so boring."

He pointed to the square courtyard wall.

"When I was busy before, I felt that time passed slowly, and I looked forward to taking a break every day. Now that I've actually taken a break, I realize that it's really hard to get through."

"That damned brat in the family, he treats me like I'm a thief."

Li Yuan let out a burp, and the floodgates of conversation opened completely.

"They send someone to check on him every few days, to inquire after his well-being? That's just a waste of time! They're afraid this old man will cause trouble for him."

"Those old brothers and subordinates used to be so devoted to me, they'd give me their hearts. And now?"

Li Yuan chuckled, his eyes filled with dejection. "They avoid me. They start turning away when they're eight zhang away, as if afraid of getting tainted by my bad luck."

"I just wanted to talk to someone and play chess. But when I looked around, it turned out they were all spies that kid had planted. I have to think before I speak. Is this even a human life?"

Li Yuan became increasingly aggrieved as he spoke, slamming his bowl down on the table, causing his chopsticks to jump wildly.

"This isn't retirement, it's practically prison! And the kind where they provide food and drink, but they never let you have a proper stay!"

Su Mu swallowed the last bite of chicken and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

He looked at the old man in front of him, who was full of complaints.

I have a general idea in mind.

Where in the palace can you find such a leisurely old man who can wander around freely?

Who else could it be but the retired emperor?

The former founding emperor of the Tang Dynasty is now nothing more than a pitiful old man who longs for family affection and to be needed, yet has nowhere to spend his twilight years.

"Sir, this is a typical case of retirement syndrome."

Su Mu brought over the wine jar and filled it for Li Yuan.

"What sign?" Li Yuan frowned.

"I'm just bored."

Su Mu made his conclusion without any hesitation.

"Free time?" Li Yuan's eyes widened. "I was forced to—"

"Whether it was forced or voluntary, you're no longer responsible for this mess, your salary and benefits remain the same, aren't you happy with that?"

Su Mu leaned back and crossed his legs.

"If I could reach your level, I wouldn't have to get up early to clock in, I wouldn't have to put up with the boss's attitude, I could just eat and sleep all day long, I'd be laughing in my sleep."

"You're just not thinking things through."

Su Mu pointed at Li Yuan, "You think people are wary of you? That's because you think too highly of yourself. If you really considered yourself a rich old man who just wanted to live a life of leisure, who would bother to be wary of you?"

Li Yuan was so speechless by these words that he couldn't catch his breath for a long time.

Don't you think I'm a piece of cake?

If anyone else had said that, they would have been dragged out and beheaded long ago.

But coming from this kid, it sounds a bit twisted.

"Then—what do you suggest I do?" Li Yuan asked, somewhat unconvinced. "Just stare at each other all day, counting ants on the ground?"

"Looking for fun!"

Su Mu slapped his thigh. "Isn't the point of living to have fun? Before, you were playing power games and vying for power—that was high-level stuff, mentally taxing and damaging to relationships. Now that we're retired, let's play something healthier and more intellectually stimulating."

"Health-preserving? Intellectually stimulating?"

Li Yuan curled his lip, "I don't like those games like pitch-pot and chess, they're boring. It's not as exciting as shooting eagles with a bow back in the day."

""

"Playing mahjong isn't necessarily a bad thing..."

Su Mu smiled mysteriously.

"Shooting eagles is a physical activity; what we're doing now is a mental activity. Moreover, this kind of thing is all about strategy and psychological warfare, much like the methods you used to conquer the world back in the day."

Upon hearing the word "conquer the world," Li Yuan's ears immediately perked up.

"What the heck? How can it be related to conquering the world?"

Su Mu remained silent.

He bent down and pulled out a thick stack of cardboard from his pocket.

He cut this out from discarded folding paper a couple of days ago when he had nothing to do.

There are fifty-four in total.

The back is decorated with a uniform auspicious cloud pattern, while the front features charcoal drawings of flowers and numbers.

Although it was simple and looked a bit rough, in the Tang Dynasty, an era with extremely limited entertainment, it was definitely a game-changer.

"This is called playing cards."

The stack of cardboard in Su Mu's hand rustled as it was washed.

"This thing is called Dou Dizhu."

Su Mu skillfully dealt the cards, placing the bottom cards face down on the table covered with chicken bones and chestnut shells.

"The rules are simple. It's a three-player game. One person is the landlord, who has all three cards in the bottom pile, giving them more resources and more power. The other two are civilians, who are essentially rebels."

Li Yuan picked up the card he had been dealt, his brows furrowed as he stared at the strange symbols drawn on it.

"rebel?"

"Yes, alliances and counter-alliances."

Su Mu sorted out the cards, "Although the landlord has a strong army, he can't withstand the combined forces of the two landlords. It's all about checks and balances."

If you are a landlord, you must have the courage of ten thousand men; if you are a commoner, you must know how to cooperate, to stand up when necessary, and to sacrifice yourself when necessary, with the goal of defeating the landlord.

Li Yuan's cloudy old eyes narrowed slightly.

He rubbed the rough edges of the playing cards in his hands.

Checks and balances.

The army is strong and well-equipped.

Forming alliances and counter-alliances!

"That's interesting."

Li Yuan fanned out the cards in his hand, straightening his back slightly. "Then what about these four of a kind?"

"That's called a bomb."

Su Mu pointed, "No matter what kind of units the enemy deploys, as long as it's not a bomb bigger than yours, dropping this thing will wipe them out."

Especially this pair of oddly shaped joker cards, called the Royal Flush, the most powerful weapon in the world, unstoppable.

"Royal Flush —"

Li Yuan murmured repeatedly, a playful smile playing on his lips, "A good name."