L.F-Hist.Novelist Chapter 317 Xu Fenghua's Confusion: Should This Child Be Kept?
Chapter 317 Xu Fenghua's Confusion: Should This Child Be Kept?
Liu Hongyan's fingers slowly tightened inside her sleeve.
She looked at Jiang Zhaoyue, at that face that always carried a faint smile when they were in the Northern Border, but now was as calm as a stagnant pool.
A sense of desolation, of things having changed and people no longer being the same, welled up in my heart.
She was silent for a moment, then spoke, her voice hoarse.
"They should already know."
Jiang Zhaoyue's brows twitched slightly.
"Knowing him as I do," she said softly, "he definitely won't believe your betrayal."
Liu Hongyan's pupils contracted slightly.
Jiang Zhaoyue continued,
"He will think that you have your reasons and are enduring humiliation. He will try every means to find you and ask you directly."
She paused, her gaze falling on the deep night outside the window, on the plum blossom petals falling in the moonlight.
He thought that no one in the world would ever betray him.
Liu Hongyan was stunned.
She looked at Jiang Zhaoyue's profile, her eyes filled with emotion.
She truly understands the Crown Prince best.
At this time,
Jiang Zhaoyue withdrew her gaze and returned it to Liu Hongyan's face.
"When the time comes," she asked, "have you figured out what you're going to do?"
Liu Hongyan was stunned.
Her mind went blank, with only Jiang Zhaoyue's words echoing repeatedly.
When...when is "when"?
When was it the time when His Highness the Crown Prince risked coming to the capital to find her?
Has she figured out what to do?
Liu Hongyan didn't know.
She really doesn't know.
These past few days, she has been thinking about how to survive, how to survive under Qin Mu, and how to survive in this cannibalistic palace.
She thought about so many things, but never considered this.
What should she do if the Crown Prince comes looking for her?
Liu Hongyan's lips trembled, her fingers trembled, and her whole body trembled.
She stood there, like a leaf in the wind, swaying precariously.
Countless images flashed through her mind again.
The Crown Prince's face, that face that was always cold and hard, yet would occasionally reveal a gentle smile in front of her.
The first time she saw him, he was standing in the courtyard of the Zhenbei Prince's Mansion, with his hands behind his back, gazing at the vast snowfields of the north.
She stood behind him, her palms sweating with nervousness, and she could barely speak. He turned around, looked at her, and his gaze was calm.
He asked, "What's your name?"
She said, "Liu Hongyan."
He nodded and said, "Good name."
That was the first time she did something for him.
He asked her to investigate a case, and she investigated for three days and three nights until her eyes were red, and finally she solved the case.
He flipped through the case file, looked up at her, and a hint of surprise flashed in his eyes.
He said, "That's good."
That was the first time she had seen that look of admiration on his face.
Later, that appreciation turned into trust.
Later on, that trust turned into dependence.
He would consult her about everything, and he would ask for her opinion before making any decisions.
He promoted her step by step from a clueless little girl to the youngest staff officer in the North.
He gave her everything.
And she betrayed him.
Liu Hongyan's tears finally welled up and spilled out.
The tears fell silently, dripping onto the moon-white dress, spreading out dark stains.
She didn't cry out loud; she just stood there, her shoulders trembling violently.
After a while, Liu Hongyan stopped crying and raised her head.
"This humble woman is unaware," she began, her voice so hoarse it was almost inaudible, "I beg Your Highness, Consort Xue, for guidance."
She knelt down.
Jiang Zhaoyue looked down at her, at her kneeling figure.
She looked at Liu Hongyan for a long time.
Then she spoke, her voice very soft.
I cannot offer you guidance.
Liu Hongyan's body stiffened slightly.
Jiang Zhaoyue continued,
"This matter is something you must figure out and do yourself to satisfy His Majesty."
She paused, her gaze falling on Liu Hongyan's pale face, which was filled with despair.
"How could I possibly make decisions for you? I myself am a sinner. The fact that I am still alive and well is already a great blessing from His Majesty. How could I dare to make decisions recklessly?"
Liu Hongyan knelt on the ground, motionless.
Jiang Zhaoyue's words echoed repeatedly in her mind.
A person burdened with sin. An immense blessing. Daring not to make rash decisions.
She suddenly realized something.
Jiang Zhaoyue didn't not want to help her; she just couldn't.
In this palace, on this chessboard firmly controlled by Qin Mu, everyone is a pawn.
Jiang Zhaoyue is, Zhao Qingxue is, and so is she.
A chess piece cannot make decisions for another chess piece.
Only the player can make decisions for the pieces.
Looking at her like this, Jiang Zhaoyue felt her complex emotions deepen even further.
She paused for a moment, then spoke again.
"Besides that," she said, "I can only offer you one piece of advice."
Liu Hongyan suddenly raised her head, her phoenix eyes filled with extreme anticipation.
Jiang Zhaoyue looked at her and spoke slowly and deliberately.
"The North is doomed to defeat."
Liu Hongyan's pupils suddenly contracted.
Jiang Zhaoyue continued,
"Your Majesty is the true Son of Heaven, the one to whom the people's hearts are, and to whom Heaven's mandate rests. Your early submission is already an immense opportunity. Do not go against the tide, lest you ultimately harm yourself."
After saying that, she didn't linger.
She turned around and walked towards the palace gate.
Jiang Zhaoyue stopped at the entrance of the palace.
She didn't turn around, but just stood there, the moonlight pouring in from outside the palace gate, shining on her and outlining her slender figure with exceptional clarity.
She remained silent for a moment.
Then she spoke.
"Liu Hongyan, take care of yourself."
Having said that, she stepped across the threshold. The moonlight engulfed her completely, and then her figure disappeared outside the palace gates.
Inside the hall, only Liu Hongyan remained.
She knelt on the ground, her forehead touching the earth, and remained motionless.
Moonlight streamed in through the window, illuminating her and making her moon-white dress stand out clearly.
She knelt there, like a lifeless statue.
Every word Jiang Zhaoyue had just said echoed repeatedly in her mind.
Especially the last sentence—"Take care of yourself."
A self-deprecating smile slowly curved the corners of Liu Hongyan's lips.
She slowly stood up and walked towards the palace gate.
She stopped at the entrance of the palace.
I looked up at the deep night.
The moon had already set in the west, hanging in a corner of the eaves of the palace like a worn-out copper coin.
She gazed at the night sky and the falling petals, and suddenly remembered what Jiang Zhaoyue had just said—"The Northern Border will surely be defeated."
She believed that statement.
It wasn't because she trusted Jiang Zhaoyue, but because she trusted Qin Mu.
That man was terrifying.
It was so terrifying that she couldn't even muster the thought of resisting.
Liu Hongyan took a deep breath, stepped forward, and crossed the threshold.
The moonlight engulfed her completely, and her figure disappeared outside the palace gate.
........
The front hall of the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the warm pavilion.
The candles had burned down to almost nothing, their orange glow spreading across the rosewood floor, intertwining with the moonlight filtering through the window, flickering uncertainly.
Qin Mu leaned back on the soft couch.
Yunluan stood three steps behind him, with her hands at her sides.
She was still wearing that dark blue outfit, her long hair neatly tied into a high ponytail, and her face was cold and stern.
Only in those deep eyes did a fleeting, almost imperceptible tenderness occasionally flash.
"Your Majesty," she said, her voice cold, "Consort Xue has already left."
Qin Mu nodded without saying anything.
"Liu Hongyan is still kneeling inside the hall," Yunluan continued. "Should we send someone to keep an eye on her?"
"No need," Qin Mu finally spoke, his voice soft and languid. "Let her think for herself."
Yunluan did not speak again.
She simply stood there, like a silent shadow.
Qin Mu withdrew his gaze and sat up from the soft couch.
"Let's go," he said, "to see Consort Hua."
Yunluan was slightly taken aback. "Now?"
Qin Mu nodded. "Now." He stepped forward and walked towards the palace gate.
Yunluan followed behind him.
The two disappeared into the night, one after the other.
Under the moonlight, the winter plum blossoms in the courtyard were still falling.
One piece after another fell onto the bluestone slabs, into the pond, and into the dappled light and shadow.
Like a silent snowfall, it fell on every corner of this deep palace.
.......
The night was as dark as ink, and the moonlight as smooth as water.
Inside the inner hall of Huaqing Palace, most of the candles had already burned out.
The orange-red halo spread across the rosewood floor, intertwining with the moonlight filtering through the window, flickering and shimmering, much like her current state of mind.
Xu Fenghua sat alone on a rosewood couch by the window.
She didn't sleep.
She has been sitting like this for two hours since nightfall.
Her hand gently rested on her lower abdomen.
It was still very flat there, and you couldn't feel anything.
Through the moon-white nightgown, there was only soft fabric and warm skin beneath my palm.
But in reality, a life was being conceived there.
One of her and Qin Mu's children.
girl.
That's what the fortune teller said.
They will grow up healthy and strong.
They will receive boundless love and affection in the future.
Xu Fenghua's fingers tightened slightly, creasing the thin nightgown.
Her brows were slightly furrowed, with a faint knot between them that she could never smooth out.
She's been thinking about this every day these past few days.
From the moment she woke up in the morning until the moment she lay down in the dead of night, that thought clung to her like a bone-deep infection, impossible to shake off.
To abort or to keep?
These two thoughts were locked in a fierce battle in her mind, fighting day and night, with neither able to gain the upper hand.
Knock it off.
This was her initial decision.
This child is Qin Mu's; he is of royal blood.
If Xu Longxiang rebels, and if Xu Longxiang succeeds, then what is this child?
She is of royal blood, Qin Mu's daughter.
What Xu Longxiang wanted to overthrow was the imperial family.
The person she wanted to kill was her father.
At that time, how will she, as a mother, cope?
On one side is her younger brother, and on the other is her daughter.
On one side is the Xu family's twenty years of nurturing grace, and on the other is the blood connection of a ten-month pregnancy.
Which side should she stand on?
You can leave...
When did this idea first come to mind?
Was it from the moment the fortune teller said "girl"?
Was it from the moment Qin Mu said in the carriage, "I hope it's a girl"?
Or was it from the moment she first felt this little life taking root inside her body?
she does not know.
All she knew was that once that thought popped into her head, she could no longer suppress it.
The child is innocent.
These words echoed repeatedly in her heart, like the tolling of a temple bell, striking her heart again and again, making her tremble.
What did the child do wrong?
She did nothing, she hadn't even opened her eyes to see the world, and she hadn't even had a chance to take her first breath.
She simply lay quietly in her mother's womb, waiting for that day to come.
She was unaware of how cruel the outside world was, unaware that her father and uncle were facing off amidst swords and shadows, unaware that before she was even born, she had already been drawn into this vortex that could overturn the world.
She knows nothing.
She is merely alive.
Like a seed, it quietly sprouts in the soil, quietly grows, and quietly waits to bloom into its own flower.
Xu Fenghua's eyes were slightly red.
She recalled many years ago, in the North.
She was still young then, and her father was still alive.
One winter, the snow fell particularly heavily, and the snowfields of the North were a vast expanse of white, stretching as far as the eye could see.
Standing on the city wall, she asked her father, "Father, why are we fighting against the Northern Barbarians?"
The father remained silent for a long time, then pointed to the snow-covered plain in the distance and said:
"Fenghua, look at that snow. It covers everything—the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. But beneath the snow, seeds are still sprouting. Trees are still growing. Rivers are still flowing. One day, the snow will melt. And then, every flower that should bloom will be there."
She didn't understand back then.
Now she suddenly understood.
The child is that seed.
Buried under the snow, invisible and intangible, yet she was there.
Quietly, we wait for the snow to melt.
Xu Fenghua's tears slid silently down her pale cheeks, dripping onto her moon-white nightgown and leaving a small, dark stain.
She didn't want to abort the child.
At this moment, the thought finally became clear.
It was as clear as the bluest sky in the North during winter, without a single cloud or haze, clean and crystal clear.
She wanted to give birth to her.
I want to see her grow up healthy and strong.
I want to see her receive favor.
I want to watch her bloom into her own flower.
But just as this thought became clear, another thought poured over his head like a bucket of ice water.
If she gives birth to this child, will Qin Mu not know?
His eyes are everywhere in this deep palace.
What could possibly escape his notice about her diet, her daily routine, her physical condition, and her every move?
Can Wang Jimin help her once, twice, ten times, or a hundred times?
Once Qin Mu finds out she's pregnant, what will he do, given his personality?
Will they keep this child and raise him as a member of the royal family?
He will still take the child away and hand him over to someone he trusts to raise, so that this "disloyal" mother will never see her child again.
Xu Fenghua's fingers tightened suddenly, her nails digging deep into her palm, sending a sharp pain through her.
She couldn't let him know.
Not at least not now.
She must get Xu Longxiang to overthrow the Qin Dynasty before Qin Mu discovers it.
Only in this way could she protect the child, bring her into this world safely, and let her grow up in the sunlight, instead of living in fear and trembling in the shadows of the deep palace.